This week featured the perfect matchup for both fantasy footballers and sports betting degenerates. Too perfect, apparently.
We’re angry. Sports betting Nicolas Cage is besides himself. The Bears punched all those who had faith in them right in the face.
On one hand, the Bears lost, which helped our hometown team in the division race. Also, while we own and started their defense in fantasy football, their piss poor play didn’t cause us to lose. However, how they lost caused sports bettors to freak out in a manner that our favorite lunatic Nicolas Cage is privy to everyday.
Final Score: 31-28 Miami (OT)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ????
The opening sports betting lines in Vegas had the Bears anywhere between -1 and -3. However, once the Dolphins placed starting QB Ryan Tannehill on the injury report, that line started to creep up more in favor of the Bears.
By game time, once the Dolphins announced Brock Osweilier as the starter, sports bettors banked on Brock Osweiler to be Brock Assweiler. As a result, the closing line had Bears winning by 7.
How heavily did sports bettors bet on the Bears this past weekend? According to William Hill U.S. sportsbooks, as much as 85% of the game action went in favor of the Bears.
Naturally, the Bears defense decided this was the game not to show up.
For example, look at this WWF move by Leonard Floyd on Danny Amendola that drew a quick 15-yard personal foul:
The Dolphins scored a touchdown the very next play.
With the Bears up 21-13 in the 4th quarter, you’d think their defense would take over and finish off Miami. At the very least, you’d think they’d be able to tackle. Instead, Albert Wilson housed two long touchdowns off of short pass plays.
But wait, there was still overtime! Still time to potentially win the Bears bet, depending on how many points bettors gave up…
…just kidding. After Bears kicker Cody Parkey missed a game winning 53 yard field goal, Bears bettors were toast.
The Bears still suck. TBD if sports betting Nicolas Cage decides to hunt down Osweiler after choking every single Bears defender with Chicago dogs.
Mr. Osweiler, you should have known better than to have one of the best statistical games of your career against a team in which the greatest and angriest actor of all time bet on.