Bad Sports Betting Beats of the Week – NFL Week 6

Angry sports betting Nicolas Cage is going bonkers after the Chicago Bears and their #1 ranked defense failed to stop an offense starting Brock Osweiler at QB.

This week featured the perfect matchup for both fantasy footballers and sports betting degenerates. Too perfect, apparently.

We’re angry. Sports betting Nicolas Cage is besides himself. The Bears punched all those who had faith in them right in the face.

On one hand, the Bears lost, which helped our hometown team in the division race. Also, while we own and started their defense in fantasy football, their piss poor play didn’t cause us to lose. However, how they lost caused sports bettors to freak out in a manner that our favorite lunatic Nicolas Cage is privy to everyday.

Chicago Bears vs Miami Dolphins (Any bet that picked the Bears)

Final Score: 31-28 Miami (OT)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ????

The opening sports betting lines in Vegas had the Bears anywhere between -1 and -3. However, once the Dolphins placed starting QB Ryan Tannehill on the injury report, that line started to creep up more in favor of the Bears.

By game time, once the Dolphins announced Brock Osweilier as the starter, sports bettors banked on Brock Osweiler to be Brock Assweiler. As a result, the closing line had Bears winning by 7.

How heavily did sports bettors bet on the Bears this past weekend? According to William Hill U.S. sportsbooks, as much as 85% of the game action went in favor of the Bears.

The Game

Naturally, the Bears defense decided this was the game not to show up.

For example, look at this WWF move by Leonard Floyd on Danny Amendola that drew a quick 15-yard personal foul:

The Dolphins scored a touchdown the very next play.

With the Bears up 21-13 in the 4th quarter, you’d think their defense would take over and finish off Miami. At the very least, you’d think they’d be able to tackle. Instead, Albert Wilson housed two long touchdowns off of short pass plays.

But wait, there was still overtime! Still time to potentially win the Bears bet, depending on how many points bettors gave up…

…just kidding. After Bears kicker Cody Parkey missed a game winning 53 yard field goal, Bears bettors were toast.

The Bears still suck. TBD if sports betting Nicolas Cage decides to hunt down Osweiler after choking every single Bears defender with Chicago dogs.

Mr. Osweiler, you should have known better than to have one of the best statistical games of your career against a team in which the greatest and angriest actor of all time bet on.

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Bad Sports Betting Beats of the Week – NFL Week 5

Watch out kids, angry sports betting Nicolas Cage is back with a vengeance this week! This week’s bad sports betting beat in the NFL has our favorite lunatic actor raging on one specific Green Bay kicker.

Hate em or love em, the Green Bay Packers are one of the most popular sports franchises in all of sports. Because of this, more individuals tend to bet on them.

Hate him or love him, Nicolas Cage is one of the most dynamic and entertaining actors of this generation. No, we don’t care that this fact has little to do with this post. In all seriousness, if you hate Nicolas Cage’s acting, you’re an idiot, and we don’t trust anything you say.

Anyways, this week, we’ve got a two-for-one special. The Green Bay Packers kicker that shall not be currently named failed sports bettors on not one, but two bets in the same game. No other NFL game this weekend can compete with the effect that one person had on their  game.

If sports betting Nicolas Cage bet on both the Packers and the UNDER, he would fly to Green Bay, recreate his box office hit Face/Off on Mike McCarthy, then rip off the GB kicker’s kicking leg and beat him with it.

Green Bay Packers vs Detroit Lions (Packers +1 & UNDER 51)

Final Score: 31-23 Detroit
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ???

The opening sports betting lines in had the Packers More than 60% of bettors bet on the Packers in Vegas. Despite this, the closing line on this game had the Packers anywhere between -1 and +1.5 in Vegas.

Still, Aaron Rodgers was playing. As long as Rodgers is playing, the Packers have a chance to win. In fact, Vegas oddsmakers consider whether Rodgers is playing as the biggest sports betting line mover in the NFL.

Even better, against the Lions, Rodgers owns a 13-3 record. That record includes a loss back in 2010 when Rodgers left the game due to a concussion.

Green Bay bettors had every reason to feel picking them was a great bet.

You all know what happened next. The kicking game from hell happened. While Rodgers lost not one but two fumbles in the first half deep in Packers territory, setting up the Lions for ten easy points, that paled in comparison to that GB kicker’s woes.

Three of the missed GB missed field goals occurred in the first half in distances where that kicker converted eight out of nine tries leading up to that game. Don’t forget, the game was played in a dome, so that kicker can’t blame it on the weather.

Even though Green Bay couldn’t come back, bettors on this game had another reason to hate that GB kicker.

The UNDER Bet Was Still Alive…Or Was It?

Most sports betting sites and casinos initially set the O/U at 51, with some as high as 51.5. Enough people bet on the UNDER that the O/U moved down to as low as 49.5 at kickoff. We’re guessing this happened because Green Bay entered the game without their #2 and #3 wideout.

With 19 seconds left in the game, the score was 31-20. Green Bay had no timeouts and had the ball at their own 23. While some bettors on the UNDER already lost, a lot of UNDER bettors had at least the chance to push at a 51 O/U.

However, Rodgers completes a 54 yard pass, and McCarthy decides to let the Packers kicker try a field goal to get his confidence back with seven seconds left and no chance at winning. Sure enough, the kicker converted, despite a day where he missed four field goals and one extra point.

We won’t speak on which sports betting beat was worse. However, the DraftKings’ New Jersey sportsbook won more money on the Detroit Lions’ 31-23 victory than all other NFL games this past weekend.

To the Packers kicker from a startup rooted in Milwaukee, we are rooting for you to turn it around. And please, for the love of God, be careful out there for sports betting Nicolas Cage. If he’s willing to punch women, he’ll do much worse to you.

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Derrick Lewis Beating Daniel Cormier At UFC 230 Would Be The Upset of the Year

Can Derrick Lewis pull off the improbable and beat the #1 pound-for-pound UFC fighter in the world at UFC 230? Initial betting lines have The Black Beast as a massive underdog.

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear. We do not recommend betting on Derrick Lewis to beat Daniel Cormier at UFC 230 unless you’re a super fan like us but expect to lose.

Betting sites agree. For example, Bovada set their initial odds for Daniel Cormier as a -800 favorite and The Black Beast as a +500 underdog. This means that if you bet $100 on Cormier and he wins, you only win $12.50 plus your $100 back.

However, if Lewis pulls off the win, you’d win $500 on a $100 bet. Personally, we think the odds will shift to an even larger payout for a potential Lewis win.

The Biggest UFC Upset of 2018, So Far

In any case, a Lewis upset would be the upset of the year for UFC purposes and betting purposes. So far, Paul Craig defeating Magomed Ankalaev back in March was the biggest upset of 2018 from a betting perspective.

Please do yourself a favor and watch how Paul Craig won in the last second of the last round:

While betting sites opened as an aggregate +148, according to OddsShark, closing odds had Paul Craig between a +400 to +600 underdog.

The Fight

As of Monday, October 8th, Daniel Cormier is the #1 ranked pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Derrick Lewis isn’t even in the top 15.

In reality, this fight serves as nothing more than a Cormier tune-up for a megafight vs. Jon Jones or Brock Lesnar in 2019. We can’t imagine The Black Beast getting in enough recovery and conditioning to last a whole fight with Cormier in just a month.

Seriously, watch his post-match conference with Joe Rogan from UFC 229 again and catch his quote starting at 1:08.

Fuck what you talking about right now, I ain’t trying to fight for no title right now, not with no gas tank like that.

With all of this, it’s no wonder Lewis is viewed as a massive underdog.

Whatever, we don’t care. Derrick Lewis is #1 in our hearts. We’ll always bet on him. We hope he uses his 6.5″ reach advantage to land a one hitta quitta.

Until UFC 230, check out this hilarious promo video The Black Beast posted on his Instagram.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 5

The drama of our fantasy football season rises to its peak. We made a trade for Odell Beckham Jr. Eight of twelve teams have a 3-2 record or better. This is getting fun.

Fantasy Football Week 5 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs. Team #10

Week 4 Points: 124.1
Head-to-Head League Result: W 124.1-94.5
Total Season Points: 653.3
Record: 3-2
League Standings: 2nd
Power Rankings: 1st
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $216 (-$18)

FAAB Dollars Spent This Week

Our league mates spent the most FAAB dollars for waiver pickups all year. Also, we decided to get in on the action. Below are the final results:

  • Jared Cook, Oak TE – $40
  • Alex Smith, Wsh QB – $20
  • Keke Coutee, Hou WR – $18
  • Titans Defense – $15
  • Dede Westbrook, Jax WR – $15
  • Nyheim Hines, Ind RB – $15
  • Ty Montgomery, GB RB – $11
  • Vance McDonald, Pit TE – $8
  • Dan Bailey, Min K – $7
  • Cameron Brate, TB TE – $3
  • Josh Lambo, Jax K – $1
  • Luke Kuechly, Car LB – $1

Keke, we love you.

First Trade of the Year

Remember when we almost traded Tyreek Hill and Alex Collins for Le’Veon Bell and Larry Fitzgerald before Week 1?

Well, we traded Tyreek Hill for Odell Beckham Jr. We felt the trade was a good but risky trade based on two factors.

One, Hill is arguably the most exciting skill position player in the NFL. His ability to blow the top off any defense contributed to many top scoring fantasy weeks. We will never forget his monstrous Week 1 won us a high-scoring matchup. In addition, his contribution won us $15 for being the highest scoring team of the week, as well as $10 for having the most fantasy points for any one person.

The other reason is that the Giants offense struggled mightily the first four weeks of the season. As a result, OBJ scored zero touchdowns and ranked outside the top 20 in total points going into this past weekend.

So why did we offer the trade?

Frankly, we felt it can’t get any worse stat wise for OBJ. Did you know he had a similar slow start in 2016? Here are his numbers in 2016, compared to 2018:

  • 2016: 39 targets / 22 receptions / 303 yards / 0 touchdowns
  • 2018: 45 targets / 31 receptions / 331 yards / 0 touchdowns

OBJ finished the year the #4 WR in fantasy with 101 receptions, 1367 yards, and 12 touchdowns.

Time will tell on who won this trade. We wish Tyreek Hill the best, unless his fantasy team is playing ours.

Other Roster Moves

First, we dropped O.J. Howard and Peyton Barber to waivers due to the multi-week injury of the former and the ineffectiveness of the latter.

Second, we added Hunter Henry (LAC TE) on a free waiver and stashed him to our IR. We’re hoping he makes a comeback from his May ACL tear and is able to play on or before Week 11 when Rob Gronkowski is on a bye week.

Third, we swapped kickers. We dropped Denver’s Brandon McManus for San Francisco’s Robbie Gould based on SF’s matchup against Arizona.

Finally, we picked up the Patriots D to start them against a injury-riddled Colts teams. Below shows how depleted the team was for the Thursday night matchup:

Thoughts From This Week

It’s about time we had our first semi-comfortable win of the season. Also, we won the OBJ-Hill for this week.

Tom Brady’s overall performance and David Johnson’s two touchdowns made us happy. OBJ scored his first receiving TD of the year and threw for another off a trick play. Kenny Golladay burning the Green Bay defense created a silver lining for the overall depressing Green Bay performance.

However, starting the Patriots defense turned out to be a mistake, as well as swapping kickers. Also, Alvin Kamara put up his first dud of the season despite the New Orleans offense scoring 43 points. In reality, our team should have won $15 for being the highest scoring team of the week, but the roster moves and the dud from Kamara prevented this.

Oh well, our team will take the win, considering how even our 12-team league is by record. The first place team is 4-1, seven teams are 3-2, and two teams are 2-3.

Hear It From Our Week 5 Opponent!

Tom Brady has AIDS.

Week 6 Preview

Team #5 vs. StakeHaul

We play the first place 4-1 team this upcoming weekend. We believe this team to be the oddest 4-1 team in fantasy football history.

First, this is the lone team in our league where the manager missed the fantasy draft. Also, the manager has not spent a dime in FAAB dollars all year.

Despite this, our opponent scored the most points out of all teams in two separate weeks. However, this team was the 3rd lowest scoring team two other weeks, with an average week thrown in. When you combine this with our Alvin Kamara and Kenny Golladay both having bye weeks, we have no idea what will happen.

Will we make any attempts at waiver pickups? If so, how much will it take to bid to secure their services? Finally, will we make any side bets for the weekend?

Tune in next week to find out!

Finally, for fuck’s sake, this would only happen to the Packers.

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The Haul – FPL Fantasy Futból Week 8

Another poor week has caused our FPL fantasy futból squad to fall to 4th place. The ship is sinking fast.

FPL Week 8 Results (to see last week’s results, click here)

FPL Week 8 Points: 36
Total Points: 416
Default League Position: 4th (down from 2nd)
Head-to-Head League Result: L
Head-to-Head League Record: 4-4

Lineup Shakeup

  • (Free) Wilfred Zaha (FWD – CRY; 7.0M) to Marko Arnautovic (FWD – WHU; 7.0M)

Point Haul/Loss from Transfers (This Week): -1
Net Point Haul/Loss from Transfers (Season – Weeks of Initial Transfer): -27
Money in the Bank (GW6 Transfers): 0M
Money in the Bank (Current): 0M
Squad Value: 102.1M

Things We Like

  1. Nothing. This was a bad week all around. All we can do is sit back during this upcoming international break and hope our team figures out how to score.

Things We Hate

  1. Joe Hart could not keep a clean sheet against Huddersfield Town, tied for the lowest scoring team in the Premier League this season coming into this past weekend. This is getting ridiculous in that we haven’t had one clean sheet from our goalie this season.
  2. Our decision to captain Mo Salah over Richarlison backfired. We missed out on eleven points because of this move.
  3. Luke Shaw (DEF – MUN) got zero points against Newcastle United. Newcastle was the other lowest scoring team in the Premier League. United sucks, and we can’t imagine their manager lasts beyond the calendar year.
  4. We left a total of 13 points on our bench between two players.

Looking Forward

After eight game weeks, we go into the international break in 4th place and 60 points behind first place. We have a lot of tough decisions over the break regarding players on our FPL squad, and no real answers right now. Oh well, all it takes is one strong week to right the ship.

Recall that the squad in 1st place after Game Week 20 will receive $450, and the team in 1st at the end of the Premier League season also gets $450.

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We Are All Derrick “The Black Beast” Lewis Superfans After UFC 229

Derrick Lewis was betting and entertainment gold during UFC 229. All fans of the UFC should support The Black Beast going undefeated the rest of his career.

Bettors will make bets for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes, bettors will make bets based on peer pressure from a group. Every once in awhile, these winning bets create memories that last far after the event. Derrick Lewis made a lot of new fans after last night’s 3rd round, come-from-behind KO over fellow heavyweight Alexander Volkov.

Most sports fans likely never heard of heavyweight Derrick Lewis before UFC 229. Most likely, people watched UFC 229 to see Conor McGregor back in action.

However, our watch party had some hardcore UFC fans, and the first thing they did during the prelims was introduce us to The Black Beast and why they’re betting on him.

First things first, below is the matchup of Derrick Lewis and his opponent from UFC 229, courtesy of The Stats Zone:

When you look at this, it made sense as to why betting sites favored Volkov and gave +140 odds for The Black Beast to win.

So why did our group collectively bet on Lewis? Simple, because of post-match interviews like this.

Seriously, how can you not love the guy after saying that his body ain’t hurt, he’s just gotta take a shit?

Here’s another post-match interview.

Not as funny, but a humble assessment on how despite being an underdog and winning, he felt he didn’t give the fans the knockout they wanted.

Also, his Instagram game is on point.

Finally, if you like knockouts, Lewis has you covered. There’s something different and exciting about watching a heavyweight knock someone out versus the lighter weight classes.

The Fight

Alright, the peer pressure got to us. We were all in on Lewis. However, for the majority of the fight, we thought this was going to be a losing bet.

That is, until the waning seconds of the fight, when Lewis delivered one of the greatest come-from-behind knockouts in UFC history.

Unreal. Our group celebrated as one would expect when winning a bet like that. Screaming, hugging, jumping, and knocking beer over. However, what followed turned this night into a lasting memory.

Seriously, this post-match interview is the greatest we’ve ever seen. Please do yourself a favor and watch it over and over again.

Have you ever watched an athlete interview that combined brutal honesty with laugh-out-loud hilarity during the ENTIRE interview? We bet you haven’t.

But wait, there’s more! Check out this portion of his interview from after UFC 229 concluded.

What more is there to say? The night started out with a simple bet based on peer pressure and ended with lasting memories.

Derrick Lewis is a national treasure and is now our favorite UFC fighter. We hope he goes undefeated the rest of his career, and we plan on making a few more bets on his inevitable upcoming victories.


Bad Sports Betting Beats of the Week

Welcome to a new series on the StakeHaul blog, where we bring together bad sports betting beats and Nicolas Cage. If you don’t like this series, we’ll personally send an angry Nicolas Cage to scare you into liking it.

Everyone sports bettor has stories where the Gambling Gods find new ways to screw up their seemingly good bet.

For example, our CEO’s father, a Green Bay Packers fan, made a sports bet against his Chicago Bears fan buddy on the Packers winning more than 4 games over the regular season than the Bears and gave his buddy +160 odds. However, they agreed on this bet the day before the Raiders traded Khalil Mack over to the Bears.

Week 4 of the 2018 NFL season featured two especially awful bad sports betting beats for the losing side.

Below are the games. We will rate each game based on how angry Nicolas Cage would be if he bet on the losing side.

Houston Texans vs. Indianapolis Colts (+1)

Final Score: 37-34 Houston (OT)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ?????

The Colts decided to go for it on 4th and 4 with 24 seconds left from the Colts’ own 43 yard line with the score tied in overtime instead of punting it to secure a tie game. Needless to say, the Colts failed to convert.

According to ESPN Analytics, the Colts made a poor decision to go for it. Colts fans everywhere threw their TV remote at the screen and made them question their loyalty.

But wait, that’s not all! Afterwards, the Texans gained enough yards to get into field goal range. However, Ka’imi Fairbairn missed the field goal! Tie game, right?

Hell nah, said the Gambling Gods. They laughed their asses off as Colts coach Frank Reich called a timeout right before the field goal to ice the kicker. Naturally, Fairbairn converted the field goal on his second try, giving the Texans, and people betting on Houston to cover, the win.

Speaking of icing the kicker, that’s another coaching decision that been proven time and time again to backfire, according to numerous articles with a simple Google search.

We imagine Nicolas Cage clubbing a baby seal in anger if he bet on the Colts here.

New York Jets vs. Jacksonville Jaguars UNDER 40.5

Final Score: 31-12 Jacksonville (OVER)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ????

The Jaguars were up 25-12 on the Jets and got the ball back with around five minutes left in the game. The Jaguars marched all the way down to create a 4th and Goal on the 1 with 27 seconds left.

The Jets had no chance to score two touchdowns with that little time left. However, we still feel most coaches in that situation would have kicked the field goal to give themselves a 99.99999999% chance of winning as opposed to a 99.999% chance.

Instead, the Jaguars go for the touchdown and convert. Also, the Jaguars went for two, but failed to convert. However, that touchdown gave people that bet on the Over the win.

There is ample evidence that Jaguars coach Doug Marrone ran up the score as payback for not obtaining the Jets head coaching job following the 2014 season. We believe it.

Doug Marrone being a bitter man left sports bettors taking the Under on this game even more bitter.

Nicolas Cage would at first be screaming curse words after losing this bet, but we’d like to think he’d later appreciate that level of vindictiveness based on his movie villain roles.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 4

Alvin Kamara is a fantasy football cheat code. Too bad the rest of our team let us down.

Fantasy Football Week 4 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs. Team #1

Week 3 Points: 145.6
Head-to-Head League Result: L 145.6-151.1
Record: 2-2
League Standings: 6th
Power Rankings: T-2nd
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $234 (no change)

No FAAB Dollars Spent This Week and No Roster Moves

The final winning bids are below:

  • Tyler Boyd, Cin WR – $35
  • Philip Rivers, LAC QB – $28
  • Tavon Austin, Dal RB – $6
  • Austin Hooper, Atl TE – $3
  • Christian Kirk, Ari WR – $1
  • Lions Defense – $1

We didn’t make any free waiver moves because we wanted to wait one more week to see who to drop for Week 5 since Alshon Jeffery is now back form injury. Therefore, we decided to keep him in the IR spot.

It was encouraging to see he put up 100 yards and a touchdown. He might be a regular in our starting lineup going forward.

Thoughts From This Week

Unfortunate.  We’re going to be asking ourselves “what if” a lot over the next couple days.

  • What if Alex Collins hadn’t lost a fumble at the goal line and instead scored his second touchdown of the night
  • What if Ezekiel Elliott didn’t have his career high in scrimmage yards?
  • What if Rob Gronkowski hadn’t gotten hurt (again)? What if, before getting hurt, Gronk could have been like our opponent’s FLEX (Will Fuller V) and scored before getting hurt?
  • What if Sony Michel could have waited an extra week before getting a workhorse role in the Patriots offense?

All in all, you would expect this kind of high scoring matchup between two of the best fantasy teams in the league. It came down to last night’s Monday night Chiefs/Broncos game, and ultimately Mahomes doing Mahomes things was the difference.

We really want this matchup back in the playoffs. Until then, we have to see the bright side of things. For example, while we lost our $10 bet to our opponent, we gained $10 right back thanks to Alvin Kamara, our fantasy cheat code, scoring the most fantasy points for one player in Week 4. Also, assuming our score holds up, we will win $45 at the end of the season for having the most team points scored in a loss.

Hear It From Our Week 4 Opponent!

No taunts from me, it was a nail biter dude.

Week 5 Preview

StakeHaul vs. Team #10

There’s always one team you want to beat more than any other team in your fantasy football league. For us, that matchup happens this upcoming weekend. In fact, we’ve already changed our team names to appropriately start the trash talking.

Our opponent is 3-1 and rode the hot wave of Ryan Fitzpatrick for a few weeks before flaming out this past weekend. Therefore, we’re not sure what waiver moves he will make, but we’re confident we can handle his team.

Will we make any attempts at waiver pickups? If so, how much will it take to bid to secure their services? Finally, will we make any side bets for the weekend?

Tune in next week to find out!

Oh yeah, LOL Lions.

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The Haul – Fantasy Futból Week 7

This week, we swung for the fences in regards to transfers for our FPL fantasy futból lineup. We whiffed and fell on our ass in the process.

FPL Week 7 Results (to see last week’s results, click here)

FPL Week 7 Points: 41
Total Points: 380 (includes -8 transfer hit)
Default League Position: 2nd (no change)
Head-to-Head League Result: L
Head-to-Head League Record: 4-3

Lineup Shakeup

  • (Free) Jordan Pickford (GK – EVE; 5.0M) to Joe Hart (GK – BUR; 4.5M)
  • (-4) Benjamin Mendy (DEF – MCI; 6.3M) to Andrew Robertson (DEF – LIV; 6.2M)
  • (-4) Kenedy (MID – NEW; 5.0M) to James Maddison (MID – LEI; 6.7M

Point Haul/Loss from Transfers (This Week): -5 (including -8 hit)
Net Point Haul/Loss from Transfers (Season – Weeks of Initial Transfer): -26
Money in the Bank (GW6 Transfers): -1.1M
Money in the Bank (Current): 0M
Squad Value: 102.3M

Things We Like

  1. We’re really grasping at straws here because very little went right this week, but we like the setup of our team now and believe better weeks are ahead. Barring injury, we won’t have to make a transfer next week.

Things We Hate

  1. Naturally, Jordan Pickford gets a clean sheet the week we transfer him out.
  2. Our decision to captain Richarlison over Sergio Aguero backfired. We missed out on ten points because of this move.
  3. We had the option of transferring in Andrew Robertson or Kiernan Trippier (DEF – TOT; 6.0M) because we saw more clean sheet potential for Liverpool over the next ten weeks. So far, that decision has cost us nine points.

Looking Forward

After seven game weeks, we are still in second place, but 47 FPL points behind the first place squad. Also, the team in 3rd place had a strong week and is only six points behind us.

Recall that the squad in 1st place after Game Week 20 will receive $450, and the team in 1st at the end of the Premier League season also gets $450.

Let’s hope for a better week next week.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 3

A big sigh of relief as our low scoring fantasy football team outscored our even lower scoring opponent. Up next is a date with the highest scoring team in the league.

Fantasy Football Week 3 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs. Team #7

Week 3 Points: 103.6
Head-to-Head League Result: W 103.6-81.7
Record: 2-1
League Standings: 3rd
Power Rankings: 3rd
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$45
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $234

No FAAB Dollars Spent This Week

We thought about putting in a bid for Ryan Fitzpatrick to ride his hot start, but ultimately we decided against it. We couldn’t justify placing a bid on any QB when we have Tom Brady.

Here were the final winning bids from last week. All teams start with $250 at the beginning of the year.

  • Giovani Bernard, CIN RB – $48
  • DeSean Jackson, TB WR – $28
  • Browns Defense – $25
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick – $10
  • Calvin Ridley – $5

Other Roster Moves

We added Antonio Callaway (CLE WR) and O.J. Howard (TB TE) to our roster and dropped Philip Rivers (LAC QB) without spending any FAAB dollars.

Historically, rookie WR’s have inconsistent fantasy point outputs week-to-week, so it will be interesting to see if Callaway is one to break the mold in the same way the Cleveland Browns broke the mold and finally won a game.

Speaking of Cleveland, did you know the last time their record was above .500 was during the 2014 season? Fun fact, their record was 7-4 before they lost the final five games of the season.

All jokes aside, congratulations to the Browns, and we look forward to watching them grow into a respectable team.

Thoughts From This Week

The fantasy gods taketh Week 2, and the fantasy gods giveth Week 3. That seems to be the running theme this season, as our fantasy output has been inconsistent at best.

We easily could be 0-3 if our fortune and misfortune were balanced. However, our team faced the worst team going into this week, and his team continues to be butt.

When your QB is Tom Brady and is playing against a Lions defense that gave up 5,000,000 points to the Jets Week 1 with a rookie QB, you’d expect him to obtain at least double digit fantasy points.

Oh well, the only sure thing in fantasy is expect the unexpected. Did you know the Detroit defense forced Tom Brady into his worst regular season game by QB rating in the past five years in which he played the whole game?

On the bright side, Kenny Golladay, whom we drafted at the tail end of the draft, continues to produce. Also, Alex Collins finally produced above his fantasy point projections.

Finally, for the love of God Arizona, please fire Mike McCoy and start Josh Rosen for the rest of the year. We can’t take these ugly yardage outputs from David Johnson any longer.

Hear It From Our Week 3 Opponent!

I’m glad Tom Brady sucked it up yesterday and can’t wait for Antonio Brown to earn 50+ points to win this week for me!
(Ed note: Our opponent sent this to us before the Steelers Monday night game.)

We Won Our First League Side Game

Only two other league mates chose to participate in this, which was disappointing. However, we won $20 this past week by picking the highest scoring lineup from the Week 3 Thursday night, Sunday night, and Monday night games.

Week 4 Preview

Team #1 vs. StakeHaul

We’re facing the top team in our power rankings this upcoming week. However, we feel confident. In fact, we agreed to a $10 side bet on the winner of this matchup with our opponent.

Our opponent is also feeling confident. In fact, he states:

“I can’t wait to watch your cuck of a QB Tom Brady get put into another body bag as his farewell/misery tour continues. The Pat Mahomes train is coming to town, choo choo motherfucker.”

Our response:

“Mahomes will beg Von Miller for extra Old Spice after the Denver defense makes him shit himself all night.”

Will we make any attempts at waiver pickups? If so, how much will it take to bid to secure their services? Finally, will we win our side bet?

Tune in next week to find out!

Oh yeah, LOL Vikings.

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