Welcome to a new series on the StakeHaul blog, where we bring together bad sports betting beats and Nicolas Cage. If you don’t like this series, we’ll personally send an angry Nicolas Cage to scare you into liking it.
Everyone sports bettor has stories where the Gambling Gods find new ways to screw up their seemingly good bet.
For example, our CEO’s father, a Green Bay Packers fan, made a sports bet against his Chicago Bears fan buddy on the Packers winning more than 4 games over the regular season than the Bears and gave his buddy +160 odds. However, they agreed on this bet the day before the Raiders traded Khalil Mack over to the Bears.
Week 4 of the 2018 NFL season featured two especially awful bad sports betting beats for the losing side.
Below are the games. We will rate each game based on how angry Nicolas Cage would be if he bet on the losing side.
Houston Texans vs. Indianapolis Colts (+1)
Final Score: 37-34 Houston (OT)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ?????
The Colts decided to go for it on 4th and 4 with 24 seconds left from the Colts’ own 43 yard line with the score tied in overtime instead of punting it to secure a tie game. Needless to say, the Colts failed to convert.
According to ESPN Analytics, the Colts made a poor decision to go for it. Colts fans everywhere threw their TV remote at the screen and made them question their loyalty.
But wait, that’s not all! Afterwards, the Texans gained enough yards to get into field goal range. However, Ka’imi Fairbairn missed the field goal! Tie game, right?
Hell nah, said the Gambling Gods. They laughed their asses off as Colts coach Frank Reich called a timeout right before the field goal to ice the kicker. Naturally, Fairbairn converted the field goal on his second try, giving the Texans, and people betting on Houston to cover, the win.
Speaking of icing the kicker, that’s another coaching decision that been proven time and time again to backfire, according to numerous articles with a simple Google search.
We imagine Nicolas Cage clubbing a baby seal in anger if he bet on the Colts here.
New York Jets vs. Jacksonville Jaguars UNDER 40.5
Final Score: 31-12 Jacksonville (OVER)
Nicolas Cage Anger Level: ????
The Jaguars were up 25-12 on the Jets and got the ball back with around five minutes left in the game. The Jaguars marched all the way down to create a 4th and Goal on the 1 with 27 seconds left.
The Jets had no chance to score two touchdowns with that little time left. However, we still feel most coaches in that situation would have kicked the field goal to give themselves a 99.99999999% chance of winning as opposed to a 99.999% chance.
Instead, the Jaguars go for the touchdown and convert. Also, the Jaguars went for two, but failed to convert. However, that touchdown gave people that bet on the Over the win.
There is ample evidence that Jaguars coach Doug Marrone ran up the score as payback for not obtaining the Jets head coaching job following the 2014 season. We believe it.
Doug Marrone being a bitter man left sports bettors taking the Under on this game even more bitter.
Nicolas Cage would at first be screaming curse words after losing this bet, but we’d like to think he’d later appreciate that level of vindictiveness based on his movie villain roles.