Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Week 13

Sports Betting Nicolas Cage went 3-3 last weekend and has NFL bets for Week 13. However, he first has to unleash hell on the Steelers for losing.

I’m so angry as I’m typing. I’ve been angry all week. That Steelers v. Broncos game should have its own post on its own for a bad sports betting beat.

What a seemingly perfect game to bet on. This Steelers -3 line seduced me faster than that damn vampire in Vampire’s Kiss.

The Steelers outgained the Broncos by more than 200 total yards. That Steelers QB that shall not be named almost threw for 500 yards. So what the hell happened?

Wait a second, the Steelers turned it over not once, but twice at the goal line!?!?!?

And the Broncos blocked a field goal attempt on the Steelers first drive?

I hate life and I hate everyone now.

I’m 12-8 in my NFL bets over the past five weeks, but I don’t care. I’m going to rage about that Steelers bet for a long time.

What’s that, you say? You still want my sports bets for NFL Week 13? Fine, but I still hate everyone.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. Remember, my picks always include the spread.

Los Angeles Rams at Detroit Lions (+10, 54.5)
Pick: Rams

I tell you what, had the Lions scored a touchdown on their final drive to tie it up last week…

Let’s not think about it. I don’t want to think about scaring my family on Thanksgiving. I’m thankful I won that bet.

Anyways, I like the Rams bet here more than my other bets this weekend. The Lions injuries at the offensive skill positions continue to pile up. Marvin Jones is out for the remainder of the year. Kerryon Johnson is likely out this week.

Still worried about the Rams defense allowing points? The return of #1 CB Aqib Talib should help.

Bet on the Rams now. The thought of helping my fans out is the only thing keeping me from driving angry to Pittsburgh and punching a bunch of random yinzers.

Cleveland Browns at Houston Texans (-6, 48)
Pick: Texans

The Texans are riding one of the hottest winning streaks in football right now. Their defense is top five in total scoring allowed, while their offense is riding the hot hand of Lamar Miller.

This is not a knock on Baker Mayfield. Imagine an alternate reality where every NFL player gets placed in a draft pool and all 32 teams had to redraft their teams. If your team had a top 10 pick, wouldn’t you seriously consider Baker Mayfield?

If I lose this bet, I’ll be mad. But not that mad. Baker is my favorite kind of competitor and shit talker, and I hope the Browns don’t ruin him.

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks (-10, 46)
Pick: Seahawks

Normally, I hate being on division games against the spread. I hate it even more when the spread is in double digits.

So why am I loving the Seahawks? For one, I love that they covered for me last weekend.

You want more reasons? Fine, the 49ers have been killed on offense and defense by the injury bug. Nick Mullens has thrown only 2 TDs and 4 INTs in the past two weeks against the Giants and Buccaneers. Would you consider those defenses world beaters? I didn’t think so.

On the other side, Seattle leads the league in rushing yards per game. Also, they top 5 in turnover differential (+8), while the 49ers are second last (-17).

I could go on and on, but writing this column doesn’t make me feel better. I’m driving to Pittsburgh to release my anger.

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