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Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Thanksgiving Edition

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle. Sports Betting Nicolas Cage decided to hold off his rage on his Week 11 NFL bets and give us bets for all three Thanksgiving matchups.

Week 11 sucked. And I’m angry.

The Panthers…lost? Is this some sort of karma for when I pulled a gun on an old lady? She wouldn’t help me with my case!

As far as the Ravens bet, well I have no one to blame but myself. I made the bet before confirming whether a few Bengals on defense would suit up.

Washington loses Alex Smith, and yet Colt McCoy comes in as backup and almost wins them the game against the Texans D? If I had lost that bet, God only knows what I would have done.

I’m 9-5 in my NFL bets over the past four weeks, despite last week’s hiccup. And since the season of giving is upon us, I cooled myself off and am giving you a special Thanksgiving slate of NFL bets.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. Remember, my pick always includes the spread.

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions (+3, 44.5)
Pick: UNDER

Seriously, I hate these damn divisional games. The Ravens couldn’t cover against the pathetic Bengals last week, and I’m ready to burn down M&T Bank Stadium for losing a second bet on the season picking them.

Anyways, I’m salty that I didn’t keep riding the Bears against the spread last week. However, their starting QB hurt himself in Week 11. I don’t care that Chase Daniel played in Kansas City at the same time Bears coach Matt Nagy coached Kansas City’s offense. This game won’t go over the 44.5 total points now that Trubisky sits, especially when Detroit’s offense will be without their starting RB and #1 WR.

Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5, 40.5)
Pick: OVER

I know what Alex Smith is going through. I screamed like a girl.

Anyways, I really hate betting on this game since Alex Smith to Colt McCoy doesn’t seem like much of a drop off in QB production. And who the hell knows which Dallas team will show up. Will it be the team that stunk it up against the Titans? Or will it be the one that outplayed Atlanta and Philly in successive weeks?

If I had to predict how McCoy will play, he’ll could be successful in chucking the ball downfield, leading to more Washington points. Or, he could gift wrap Dallas multiple turnovers with a short field. Either way, I think more points will be scored than assumed.

I feel most comfortable betting the OVER on a low O/U. Friends and family are begging me to take Xanax tomorrow as we speak.

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (-13, 60)
Pick: OVER

Right now, there’s no more complete team in the NFL than the Saints. And yet, I can’t shake this feeling that a 13 point spread is a lot to overcome against a divisional opponent like the Falcons.

Alvin Kamara should explode against an Atlanta defense that’s been getting gashed all year. New Orleans averages over 37 points per game this season, and they should be able to reach that point total against statistically the worst defense in the NFL. They already scored 43 against Atlanta earlier in the year.

However, Atlanta’s offense is no slouch. They average 26 points a game, and scored 37 against New Orleans earlier this season. In a game where Atlanta must win to keep their playoff hopes alive, and New Orleans must win to keep home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, I say they play the game to their strengths.

Take the OVER and have a good laugh after you’re rolling around in the money you made.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and you’re welcome for the betting tips.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 11

Our fantasy football team continued its strong performance, but the Chiefs v. Rams game prevented us from claiming the top score of the week. Looking ahead, our next matchup could determine who gets the second bye in our playoffs.

Fantasy Football Week 11 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs Team #9


Week 10 Points: 134.3
Head-to-Head League Result: W 134.3-79.1
Total Season Points: 1364.9
League Record: 7-4
League Standings: T-2nd
Power Rankings Record (This Week): 8-3
Power Rankings Record (Overall): 70-51
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $88

Lineup Moves

For all those that read last week’s fantasy football post, you know we traded for Aaron Rodgers. However, we had to replace our IDP and our kicker due to bye weeks for our normal starters. Thus, we brought in Landon Collins (NYG S) and the Tennessee Titans kicker, Ryan Succop.

By the way, this was Sports Betting Nicolas Cage’s reaction when we told him we picked up a player from the Titans…

We guess that when one loses two sports bets on the Titans, that person kinda freaks out and make no sense.

Anyways, as a Wisconsin startup and Green Bay Packers fans, it’s really hard to admit that the Chicago Bears look like a good team this year, especially on offense. However, we bit our tongue, picked up Anthony Miller, and dropped Tre’Quan Smith due to Miller’s WR production over the last four weeks.

Finally, we asked Twitter for their thoughts on who to start in our flex spot this week: Chris Carson or Kenny Golladay.

Thoughts From Week 11

  1. We went against the Twitter consensus and started Kenny Golladay. While we’re pleased that Carson played well against Green Bay and made it through without injury, we couldn’t be happier with starting Golladay. Obviously, Golladay is a must start in Week 12, even against the Bears defense.
  2. Aaron Rodgers gave us a solid 22 points, but we’re increasingly paranoid that Rodgers might start mailing it in towards the end of the season if the Packers don’t start winning. Call us crazy, but he doesn’t look like he wants to be out there with Mike McCarthy still calling the plays. Also, he’s not giving any “R-E-L-A-X” or “I think we can run the table” quotes to reassure the fans.
  3. The Bears defense continues to show itself as our best waiver wire pickup of the season. They have two tough matchups during Weeks 14 and 15 (Rams and Packers), but they’re playing so well that we’re second guessing benching them for those weeks.

Hear It From Our Week 11 Opponent!

Just like I’ve been saying all week, I had no chance. I still think you have bribe material on these managers you made trades with this season.

Editor’s note: Our opponent went on a long tirade after seeing we traded for Aaron Rodgers. In fact, he changed his team name and logo to appropriately vent his anger at the team that originally had Rodgers.

Week 12 Preview and Looking Forward

StakeHaul vs. Team #6

Our matchup in Week 12 has big playoff implications. We face another 7-4 team and the highest scoring team in the league. We faced this team Week 1 and won, but we had to field the highest scoring team of Week 1 to win.

Basically, we need to win this week to have a chance to claim the second bye in our league playoffs, which would be Week 14.

As we stated earlier, we’re still in 5th place in our power rankings. Our power rankings are based on a W-L record using our score from each week and comparing it to the other teams score that week. Below is our season long power rankings record compared to the league:

We’ve got three straight weeks of consistently strong performance heading into the playoffs. This week will go a long way in showing how our playoffs will be seeded.

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Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Week 11

Sports betting Nicolas Cage won two out of three NFL bets last week. Here are his bets based on NFL Week 11 odds.

Did you take my advice last week and bet on the Chargers against the spread? I tell you what, that game was too close for comfort.

If I had lost that bet, on top of the Patriots taking a steamy shit on my bet on them…

By the way, I’m 8-3 in my NFL bets over the past three weeks. I think it’s my lucky crack pipe.

Just kidding. Seriously, don’t do crack.

Now that I’ve let out some steam, let’s get on to the bets for NFL Week 11.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. Remember, my pick always includes the spread.

Carolina Panthers vs. Detroit Lions (+3.5)
Pick: Panthers

Right here is my bet of the weekend. Since I placed this bet, the line moved up to Panthers/Lions +4.5. The Panthers are a hell of a lot better than they showed last week against the Steelers. They showed this when they beat down the Ravens three weeks ago and beat down my bet on the Ravens.

Meanwhile, the Lions suck since they traded away Golden Tate, and will now be without their new #1 WR in Marvin Jones Jr. Also, they can’t stop anyone on defense, ranking in the bottom 5 in total points allowed. With Detroit at #29 in total DVOA and Carolina at #12, including top ten in offense, I’d bet on Carolina even if they were favored by a touchdown.

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-4.5)
Pick: Ravens

Normally I hate betting on divisional matchups, but with all the injuries Cincinnati has, I’m not confident they can beat anyone outside those silly Raiders. Their defense sucks without Burfict. Those injuries to key players haven’t changed since I called it out last week.

On the other hand, the Ravens are at home, coming off a bye, and still have a top-5 ranked defense by many measures to pair with a respectable offense. Even if Flacco doesn’t play, I still expect the Ravens to win by at least a touchdown.

Houston Texans at Washington Redskins (+1.5)
Pick: Texans

Washington is down their top two guards and their pass catching RB. In addition, their top offensive tackle, Trent Williams, is questionable for Sunday. The Texans and their top-5 defense should feast all day on Alex Smith and their bottom tier offense.

I think the gap is that great to where the Texans will score an easy touchdown or two off Washington turnovers.

Happy Movember everyone, and you’re welcome for the betting tips.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 10

A high scoring fantasy football weekend netted us a win and a four-way tie for second place. If that wasn’t exciting enough, we made another trade.

Fantasy Football Week 10 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs Team #3


Week 10 Points: 137.4
Head-to-Head League Result: W 137.4-107.9
Total Season Points: 1230.6
League Record: 6-4
League Standings: T-2nd
Power Rankings Record (This Week): 10-1
Power Rankings Record (Overall): 62-48 (5th)
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $88

Wait, Another Trade!?

While we didn’t spend FAAB dollars this past week, we swung our third fantasy football trade of the season, effective immediately after Week 10 concluded.

We traded away the following:

  • Tom Brady (NE QB)
  • Courtland Sutton (DEN WR)

In return, we received:

  • Aaron Rodgers (GB QB)
  • Austin Ekeler (LAC RB)

We like this trade on two fronts. One, we believe Aaron Rodgers provides us with an upgraded starting QB. Two, we get cover in case Melvin Gordon hurts himself again. However, we are going to miss Courtland Sutton and his potential to be a valuable keeper next season.

We posted a poll on Twitter on who got the better end of this trade. Twitter gave us the advantage.

Thoughts From Week 10

  1. We had to endure a rough three weeks of low fantasy output from Kenny Golladay, so we’re glad he rebounded in a big way. In all honesty, we’ve been trying to trade him over the last month, to no avail. We tried including him instead of Sutton in trade talks with the team we got Aaron Rodgers from. We’re hoping Kenny G can be a valuable starter down the stretch.
  2. Speaking of Kenny Golladay, we tried packaging him in a trade to receive Leonard Fournette to that same team we ended up getting Aaron Rodgers from. Frankly, this team needed wide receivers, and we were looking to consolidate our bench into every-week FLEX starters. At the end of the day, the other manage wanted to see how Fournette would do for the rest of the season. It will be interesting to analyze this non-move at the end of the fantasy football season.
  3. We’ve been ridiculously impatient with kickers this season. We dropped Dustin Hopkins (Redskins) and put in Jason Myers (Jets). This transaction lost us six points when comparing the two. Also, we will have to change kickers for next week since the Jets have a bye week.
  4. Ditto for tight ends. We dropped Jordan Reed (Redskins) and picked up Evan Engram (Giants). Despite their team records, we like the potential of the Giants offense more than the Redskins potential. Also, Reed hadn’t scored a touchdown since Week 1. Their performance this past weekend was very comparable, but we really need a healthy Rob Gronkowski to be a difference maker come playoff time.
  5. Overall, a strong team performance, despite our now former quarterback doing nothing against the Titans defense. Even better, second place lost to first place. We are now in a four-way tie for second and the other playoff bye.

Hear It From Our Week 10 Opponent!

Get this season over with. When is the 2019 draft scheduled for?

Week 11 Preview and Looking Forward

StakeHaul vs. Team #9

For Week 11, we face a team with a 5-5 record and 9th place in our power rankings. This team got absolutely boned by Cody Parkey last week. Parkey got -7 points, and this team lost by 1.1 points. You have to see this for yourself.

As we stated earlier, we’re in 5th place in our power rankings. Our power rankings are based on a W-L record using our score from each week and comparing it to the other teams score that week. For example, our Week 10 W-L record was 10-1, which means we were the second highest scoring team in the league in Week 10. Below is our season long power rankings record compared to the league:

Our power rankings record is 62-48. This tells us our actual league record is in line with how well our team has scored this season. It also shows we got lucky to win Weeks 3,6, and 7, while we were unlucky to lose Weeks 2,4, and 9.

Here’s to hoping Aaron Rodgers can make our squad stronger going forward.

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Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Week 10

Sports betting Nicolas Cage won two out of three NFL bets last week. Here are his bets based on NFL Week 10 odds.

I was in Vegas this past week Monday through Friday and decided to listen to two “sports betting experts” flap their jaws on the radio.

One big topic they agreed upon is bettors should never bet on the Golden State Warriors this year because their team only cares about the playoffs. Therefore, you don’t know which nights they’re going to coast through and which nights they’re going to beat the brakes off their opponent.

The Warriors went 3-0 against the spread last week and are 7-4 ATS on the season, pissing me off.

What’s The Point?

If you follow sports betting long enough, you can talk yourself into any bet based on analytics or a feel for the matchup. On the flipside, you could argue you should bet on the Warriors at the beginning of the season because they’re motivated to position themselves into securing home-court advantage early.

No matter your reasoning, Vegas will always be more informed than you, and will set their lines according to the matchup. If there was one tried and true way of sports betting, bettors would put sports books out of business.

One day, if you readers are lucky, I’ll slowly reveal how I bet.

Nicolas Cage Bets

By the way, I’m 6-2 in my NFL bets over the past two weeks. Maybe it’s just my lucky crack pipe.

Just kidding. Seriously, don’t do crack.

On that note, on to the picks.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. My pick always includes the spread.

Los Angeles Chargers at Oakland Raiders (+10)
Pick: Chargers

The Chargers already beat the Raiders 26-10 in Week 5. Since then, the Raiders put Marshawn Lynch on IR, traded Amari Cooper, and cut Bruce Irvin…

…really, do I need to go on as to why all you Cage fans need to hammer the Chargers bet? I’m getting angry just thinking about it. It’s like that one time I had to recite the alphabet to my idiot secretary.

In fact, I’ll make it real easy for you to have the best weekend of your life:

  1. Bet on the Chargers
  2. Watch Vampire’s Kiss
  3. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  4. Profit
New England Patriots at Tennessee Titans (+6.5)
Pick: Patriots

“But Sports Betting Nicolas Cage, why do you keep recommending large favorites on the road? Don’t the big bettors typically stay away from that LOL!?”

My immediate reaction:

Did you even read the first part above?

Listen, I already hate that I bet against the Titans last week. How was I to know that their putrid offense would score a season high 28 points? Just thinking about it makes me want to burn down JerryWorld.

My reasoning is the Patriots can score 28 points while sleepwalking. Also, that defense is better than given credit for. If they can frustrate Aaron Rodgers into only delivering 17 points last week, they can sure as hell keep the Titans less than 20 points.

New Orleans Saints at Cincinnati Bengals (+5.5)
Pick: Saints

Ah, what the hell. I’m going to keep betting on big road favorites here. The Bengals go into Sunday’s matchup without the team’s best player (A.J. Green), for one.

That Bengals defense is already butt, ranked 30th in scoring defense. Also, my favorite cheap-shot artist Vontaze Burfict may miss the game due to an injured hip. Do you really want to bet that the 30th ranked defense, without their best player on offense and potentially without their best player on defense, to keep the score close?

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 8 and Week 9

Our first ever two game losing streak in this league happened thanks to facing the two top scoring teams back-to-back and unfortunate bye week schedules.

Fantasy Football Week 8 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs Team #11


Week 8 Points: 104.1
Head-to-Head League Result: L 104.1-142.7

Fantasy Football Week 9 Summary

StakeHaul vs Team #12


Week 8 Points: 130.1
Head-to-Head League Result: L 130.1-135.5

Total Season Points: 1093.2
Record: 5-4
League Standings: T-3rd
Power Rankings: 5th (unchanged)
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $88 (-$69)

FAAB Dollars Spent

Prior to Week 8, we spent $17 on Raheem Mostert (SF RB) and $2 on Dustin Hopkins (WAS K). Also, when we found out Rob Gronkowski picked up an injury, we paid $18 for Jordan Reed (WAS TE). The amount we bid for Reed was overkill since no other team bothered to place any bid on him.

Prior to Week 9, we successfully bid $32 on Courtland Sutton, the new #2 WR on Denver.

Thoughts From Week 8

This wasn’t the first two game losing streak we’ve had in our fantasy football career, but it was the first in three years in this league.

It turns out we never had a chance in Week 8. Unfortunately, neither Raheem Mostert nor Kenny Golladay could take advantage of juicy matchups. In reality, Odell Beckham Jr. outscoring Tyreek Hill was the only positive from that week.

Hear It From Our Week 8 Opponent!

Hahaha your top heavy team never had a chance. Looking forward to beating you again in the playoffs.

Thoughts From Week 9

This loss hurts a lot, even with Odell Beckham Jr. on a bye week.

First, our starting WRs could not get anything going. Second, Gronk did not play, and his replacement, Jordan Reed, scored very little. Third, our FLEX, Chris Carson, got hurt in the first half and did not return. Finally, and most maddeningly, James White outscored Tom Brady.

On a positive note, it was nice to see the Cowboys force Amari Cooper targets and see him score a touchdown. We’re not upset that not putting him in the starting lineup cost us a win. For us, the risk of putting in a newly traded WR on a bad offense over established #2 WRs on above average offenses outweighed the benefits.

Finally, we can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Melvin Gordon seems to be over his hamstring injury.

Hear It From Our Week 9 Opponent!

Unlucky for you…see you in the playoffs.

Week 10 Preview and Looking Forward

Team #3 vs. StakeHaul

For Week 10, we face the currently last place team in our league. We believe this team to be much stronger than their position, however. Our opponent has the unfortunate combination of being 1st in points against and inconsistent scoring from players besides Saquon Barkley. Regardless, we need this win in order to keep pace for a playoff berth.

Looking forward, the top scoring teams in our league make up our projected playoff bracket. We’re 2-3 against the top teams, with our Week 8 loss being the only bad loss against the currently 1st place team.

Our 5-4 overall record has us tied for 3rd place with three other teams. Over our final four regular season matchups, three of them are against teams in the bottom half of our league. Therefore, we anticipate we’ll need to win those three matchups to secure one of the six playoff berths.

It might be too late to secure a first round bye in our playoffs, but we are one win behind the second place team, a team we beat in Week 1. If we win out, there’s always a chance.

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Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Week 9

Sports betting Nicolas Cage won four out of five NFL bets last week. Also, he’s got a few things to get off his chest before he makes his Week 9 picks.

First off, my acting career is not a damn meme for you dimwitted pricks. If you can’t understand nor appreciate my acting style, I hope you get your legs broken and subsequently stung by a million bees.

Second, I’ve already warned the StakeHaul team that I will personally unleash Cage Rage if they even think about making me a meme.

Finally, the Packers vs. Rams game definitely qualifies for Cage Rage sports bet of the year, especially if you picked the OVER at 56 1/2 and above.

However, to all you whiners getting angry at Todd Gurley taking a dive before the end zone to run out the clock, he did exactly what he was supposed to do. If anything, you should release your inner Rage Cage at Ty Montgomery for his selfish kickoff stunt. At least you’d have a chance to cover your OVER bet, provided Mason Crosby didn’t shit the bed like he did a few weeks ago.

On that note, on to the picks.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. My pick always includes the spread.

Nicolas Cage Bets

Kansas City Chiefs at Cleveland Browns (+8.5)
Pick: Chiefs

Chiefs finally fail to cover the spread last week. Otherwise, I feel this spread would be much higher since they’re still the same sexy, high-flying offense.

As far as the Browns, you likely know they fired both their head coach and their offensive coordinator. As I once said, “You’ll be seeing a lot of changes around here. Papa’s got a brand new bag.” However, the Browns changes won’t help them this week.

Chicago Bears at Buffalo Bills (+10)
Pick: Bears

HAHAHAHA I hope Bills fans aren’t saying “Papa’s got a brand new bag” with the Bills having to start Nathan Peterman. I know Bills fans are some of the most loyal and rowdy fans in all of sports. However, they all must be into BDSM or some shit if they’re willing to shell out hundreds of dollars to watch the Bears eat Peterman’s soul for three hours.

Tennessee Titans vs Dallas Cowboys (-5.5)
Pick: Cowboys

Papa’s got a brand new bag in Dallas. I think these changes will help the home team coming off their bye. Amari Cooper should inject some life into that passing game, and the offensive line coach switch should bolster the strength of this team.

The Titans are ranked #26 in scoring offense on the road, while the Dallas defense is ranked #2 in scoring at home. Also, while Dallas averages only 20 points per game, they average almost 29 points at home. Bet the Cowboys and thank me later.

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Nicolas Cage NFL Bets of 2018: Week 8

Sports betting Nicolas Cage is here to remind you that if you dress like Halloween, ghouls will try to get in your pants. Also, Nicolas Cage has some NFL bets.

I can hear the haters already. “But Nic, that’s not you that said that quote about Halloween that’s John Travolta LOL!!!” 

First off, to all those that haven’t seen me in the movie Face/Off, you’re an idiot. Watch the movie, and you’ll know that’s my character that says it. In fact, do it now before I break into your grandparents’ nursing home and threaten to blow their heads off.

Finally, I’ve been called one of the most charitable actors in Hollywood, and for that, I’ve decided to gift you my NFL bets for Week 8. You’re welcome.

The home team is always on the right. A minus spread shows that the home team is the favorite, while a + spread shows the home team is the underdog. My pick always includes the spread.

Nicolas Cage Bets

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8)
Pick: Steelers

I see a little bit of myself in Baker Mayfield at that age, but no way the Steelers don’t cover at home with the hot streak they’re on before their bye week. This is my surest pick, and I’ll go full Cage Rage if this bet doesn’t cover.

Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans (-7.5)
Pick: Texans

Brock Assweilier still owes me a debt for having a career day vs. Chicago. I expect JJ Watt and the Houston defense to eat his soul tonight.

Baltimore Ravens at Carolina Panthers (+2)
Pick: Ravens

You’re a real asshole, Justin Tucker. I’m picking your team because the Ravens are 6-0 in their last six after a loss. However, I’m still coming after you when you least expect it.

New York Jets at Chicago Bears (-7)
Pick: Bears

I laughed my ass off when I heard so many “experts” picking the Jets to cover a +3 spread against the Vikings. I expect the Bears defense to force at least two turnovers and knock out the Jets early.

Washington Redskins at New York Giants (+1)
Pick: Redskins

The Giants just traded away their best run stopper and a starting cornerback. Not too many NFL teams have thrown in the towel halfway into a season where they acquired talent to make a Super Bowl run.

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 7

A fantasy football team missing two of its most valuable assets due to injury usually makes for a bad week. Sometimes, it pays to be lucky.

Fantasy Football Week 7 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

StakeHaul vs Team #4

Week 7 Points: 101.8
Head-to-Head League Result: W 101.8-57.7
Total Season Points: 858.6
Record: 5-2
League Standings: T-1st
Power Rankings: 5th (down from 3rd)
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $157 (-$59)

No FAAB Dollars Spent This Week

Below are the final results from last Wednesday’s waiver claims:

  • Mitchell Trubisky, Chi QB – $37
  • Wil Lutz, NO K – $31
  • Frank Gore, Mia RB – $23
  • Christian Kirk, Ari WR – $21
  • Jermaine Kearse, NYJ WR – $16
  • Chargers Defense – $16
  • Bills Defense – $2

Other Roster Moves

As we mentioned last week, we swung a massive trade for Melvin Gordon:

  • We traded away David Johnson, Corey Clement, and Alshon Jeffery
  • In return, we received Melvin Gordon, Chris Carson, and Amari Cooper

Also, we seem to have a revolving door at our kicker spot since we swapped Graham Gano for Brett Maher. Finally, we added Tre’Quan Smith, a rookie WR playing for New Orleans. With Ted Ginn recently placed on IR, we’re hoping Smith’s new role as the #2 WR pays dividends in the high octane New Orleans offense.

Thoughts From This Week

Even though we blew out our opponent, we got lucky again. This week, our opponent was by far the lowest scoring team.

This was the second week in a row in which our team scored better than only three other teams in our league. However, we can blame this on late week injuries to both Melvin Gordon and Rob Gronkowski. Hopefully, these injuries don’t linger.

The trade for Odell Beckham Jr. overall is still a wash, but we’re glad he put up stud WR1 numbers this week. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to start evaluating our trade for Melvin Gordon until after Week 9 due to bye weeks.

Finally, we’re happy to see Alvin Kamara score a touchdown against a tough Baltimore defense. Even better, that touchdown came from a two yard rush, which normally those touchdowns are reserved for Mark Ingram.

Hear It From Our Week 7 Opponent!

Congrats on winning this week’s Cuck Bowl. Your team still sucks.

Week 8 Preview

Team #11 vs. StakeHaul

Our opponent also sits at 5-2 and is 2nd in our power rankings. And with Melvin Gordon on a bye week, we admit we’re big underdogs. Also, we badly need Gronk back from injury to have a chance. Finally, we kindly ask Todd Gurley and Robert Woods to not score any touchdowns against our hometown Packers.

On a final note, we’re optimistic that Dallas trading for Amari Cooper will work out well for us. That isn’t saying much, but Cooper has nowhere to go but up. If the Cowboys are willing to give up a 1st round pick for Cooper, we imagine he will be fed a lot of receiving targets as the new #1 WR.

What more roster moves will we make? Will we make any side bets for the weekend?

Tune in next week to find out!

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The Haul – Fantasy Football Week 6

Our fantasy football team scored less than average, but still pulled out the win. After the win, we made a big time trade to acquire Melvin Gordon. Go big or go home.

Fantasy Football Week 6 Summary (for last week’s result, click here)

Team #5 vs. StakeHaul

Week 6 Points: 103.5
Head-to-Head League Result: W 103.5-91.1
Total Season Points: 756.7
Record: 4-2
League Standings: 1st
Power Rankings: 3rd
Total Season Haul From Side Bets: +$90
FAAB Dollars Remaining: $157 (-$59)

FAAB Dollars Spent This Week

Our league set the bar even higher this week in terms of FAAB dollars spent. Jay Ajayi’s season-ending injury caused us to bid high on his main replacement, Corey Clement. Below are the final results:

  • Corey Clement, Phi RB – $59
  • Randall Cobb, GB WR – $33
  • Wendell Smallwood, Phi RB – $26
  • Alfred Morris, SF RB – $26
  • Packers Defense – $15
  • Jameis Winston, TB QB – $12
  • Andy Dalton, Cin QB – $2

For context, the second highest bid for Clement was $42, with the next highest at $40. Needless to say, multiple league mates had interest in Clement, and we used that interest for completing a mega trade after this weekend.

Other Roster Moves

The only other roster move we made last week was when we swapped kickers. Specifically, Robbie Gould for Graham Gano. You’ll see below that this decision would have cost us a win against most teams this past weekend.

Thoughts From This Week

Remember, we played the team where the manager missed the fantasy draft. Also, the manager has not spent a dime in FAAB dollars all year. This team should not be in first place, in theory.

Having said that, we admit we got lucky this weekend. We happened to catch the 1st place team on a worse weekend despite our low scoring weekend. Alvin Kamara and Kenny Golladay both having their bye week certainly contributed to this, but we only scored better than three other teams.

So what went wrong? Our decision to roster Graham Gano instead of Robbie Gould cost us 15 points. We started the Bears defense instead of Minnesota, which cost us 14 points. Finally, starting Keke Coutee at the FLEX spot instead of Alex Collins cost us 12.9 points.

On a similar note, our trade for Odell Beckham Jr. has neither helped nor hurt us yet in terms of W/L or money made from side bets. However, if we look at strictly point totals, we’re down 11.9 points combined over the past two weeks., due large in part of Hill blowing up this past weekend.

Luckily, our new acquisition showed up, along with Alshon Jeffery.

Hear It From Our Week 6 Opponent!

Unfortunately, this team did not trash talk us before nor after this weekend. Pity, we had some good autodraft banter in our arsenal.

Week 7 Preview

StakeHaul vs Team #4

You’re probably thinking to yourself, how the hell did you get Melvin Gordon into your lineup? Well folks, remember that mega trade that we teased earlier?

This trade accepted immediately after Week 6 will make or break our season. To review:

  • We traded away David Johnson, Corey Clement, and Alshon Jeffery
  • In return, we received Melvin Gordon, Chris Carson, and Amari Cooper

We took a risk here. We gave up two and potentially three every week starters for a top-3 player in fantasy football this season. Barring unforeseen circumstances, Carson and Cooper are at best bye week fillers.

Interesting enough, while we like this trade, Twitter disagreed. 68% of voters felt we lost the trade.

As far as our opponent, they sit at 3-3 and 8th in our power rankings. However, they rank #1 in terms of trash talking. They’re that opponent where you change your team name to disparage their soul. They took it even further by changing their team logo to this:

That’s just mean. We plan to whoop some ass this weekend.

What more moves will we make? Will we make any side bets for the weekend?

Tune in next week to find out!

Finally, shoutout to Mason Crosby for TOTALLY REDEEMING HIMSELF against San Francisco.

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